Human BEing

Even though I grew up in church and have been around ministry my whole life, I have found it very difficult to fully immerse myself in it (and even call myself a minister or spiritual leader) because I have often felt like I don't fit many of the long held traditions, beliefs and appearances. I'm not in a rush to get married, even though I love children I don't dream of being a biological mother, I don't solely sing or write worship music, I don't always dress the part, I am very passionate about my career and dreams and even after 16 years of pursuing & living it I’m still not tired of it. I love yoga, meditation and holistic health (Jesus is my ONLY Source), and so many other categories I don't neatly fit into.

I have been told that I would be "more effective" and "go further" if I had a romantic partner/husband. That a woman's beauty, strength and purpose are found in her husband and children. That God "commanded us to be fruitful and multiply the earth." That I should only sing gospel, worship and Christian music. That I should dress differently, act differently and think differently. On and on and on. These words used to isolate me and make me feel less than and very confused.

I feel God speaking to my heart that who I am is so good, and I don't have to be anyone else but myself. That even if people are comparing me to others, I don't have to compare myself to anyone. That I don't have to be traditional, and I only need to keep looking deep into God's eyes and stay the course. There is nothing wrong with tradition, we just can't expect everyone to fit the mold. I don't know what my future holds, but I know Who holds my future. I know that God is only good, and He has good things in store (even when life is difficult, and I am uncomfortable at times). God is my Blueprint, and He is doing a new thing. My life is in God's hands, and He lights up my path every moment. God is my Sustainer and Preserver. I know that I’ll never be lacking love or any good thing.

I am learning to just BE. I don't owe everyone an explanation- if they don't accept me it's OK. As long as God accepts me (He always will), I can rise each morning and carry on with joy, confidence and peace. I fit perfectly inside of Jesus' Heart. I pray that we will not feel guilty for not fitting in and that we will allow others and ourselves to simply BE.

*By the way, I feel to encourage someone with these additional truths: you’re not too old or too young, you’re not too much or too little, you’re not too far behind or too late. God is not holding out on you and you’re not missing out. All lies! Who you are is so good and you can experience God’s joy, peace, confidence and quality of life today, right now and right where you are. You don’t have to drink the “discontentment Kool-Aid” LOL!