To the little boy in you.

“To the little boy in you.”

*TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains sensitive content.

•A man’s body is just as valuable as a woman’s body.

•A man is just as much of a prize as a woman is.

 I knew that when I posted these statuses on social media recently they might cause a stir. I chose to post them anyway because number 1: I am no longer allowing other people’s opinions to filter my authenticity, and number 2: men are hurting just as much as women are and they need healing too. Healthier men and boys lead to a healthier society.

From a young age, little boys are not taught to value their bodies. They are not taught to acknowledge and honor their feelings or how to healthily express their emotions. They are forced to be “the man of the house” before they’ve even had a chance to be a little boy. Many are introduced to pornography (which I consider to be a form of child abuse) and are encouraged to have multiple girlfriends before they are even ready to have 1. The introduction to pornography often leads to a distorted and unrealistic image of themselves and women, sexual addictions and dysfunctions, shame and other repressed emotions. They are subliminally taught that women are a purchase you make at the grocery store of your choice. Boys are not allowed to be gentle or express any type of “feminine” energy without being called “gay”, “sissy”, “faggot” or other homophobic slurs. Many convince themselves to have sex with multiple girls in order to prove their masculinity, enter into manhood and “gain experience”. They give away little pieces of themselves without even realizing they have left nothing for themselves. They become community property, belonging to any woman who will give them attention to help fill the void that only God can fill. They are taught that money and status determine their worth and are the primary ways they provide life in this world. The little boy can never rest. His mind is full of stress and worry, his heart is full of fear and his body is worn down. He will act out in countless ways including binge eating, silent depression, anger issues, violence, passive aggressive behavior, sleeping around, cheating, internalizing, overworking, impulsivity, narcissism, OCD, control issues, overspending, over-consumption of alcohol, drug abuse, isolation and more.

God never created you to be your own savior or to live such a tortured life. God wants to care for you and love you in such a way that you never feel unloved or unwanted ever again. Where God’s very love and adoration for you will be the cornerstone of your life. Where you will breathe, think, see, hear, speak, feel and LIVE from God’s good opinion OF YOU. Where it will form your relationships and even how you work. God will always want you and listen to your voice. God will always take care of your heart and provide for your life. God cares about your body and your mind. You are valuable in every way. You cannot work your way out of a broken heart or make enough money to heal your low self-esteem. You will never be smart enough to convince your mind that “you’re not stupid” if your heart is still living from that lie you were told growing up.

A lot of people fail to understand that even though God is mostly referred to in masculine terms (He, Him, Father), God is bigger than gender. God is equally masculine and feminine, and we were created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). God is both Mother (Holy Spirit) & Father (Psalm 27:10, Psalm 68:5). It actually says that in Christ there is no longer man or woman- we are all equal and one with God and each other (Galatians 3:28, 1 Corinthians 6:17).

I am so sorry for every lie you’ve been told. I am sorry for all the abuse you’ve encountered. I am sorry for all the nights you felt alone and unsafe to share your heart. I am sorry for all the tears you had to swallow and hide. I am sorry for all the fear you’ve held inside and the horrendous flashbacks from the past that often flood your soul. I am sorry that you didn’t witness healthy love between your parents and that the dysfunction spilled over into your life.

There is no pain too great or heartache too deep that God cannot feel and heal. The generational curses can stop with you. You are so much more and not defined by the things that have happened to you in this world. As you face the little boy in you, know that God is giving you a big hug, and you don’t have to heal alone.