Story Time: 7 Years in Grace

October is a very significant month for me because every year it marks how many years since I walked away from traditional church & organized religion and back to the God and Jesus I first met as a little girl. I always knew God, but between growing up in an unhealthy environment, no solid spiritual mentors and a ton of religious abuse and church hurt, I found myself always looking for the God who first came to me.

This October marked 7 years since I’ve been walking in GRACE, and the amount of mental, emotional, spiritual, physical and relational healing that has taken place in my life is beyond my wildest imagination and dreams. Each day I live God is literally making up for every single bad memory and thing that I have been through.

I never saw myself as a clergy member or spiritual leader because I don’t like being put on a pedestal, I don’t care for the hierarchical system and honestly I was tired of being boxed in. All I knew is that I unconditionally loved God, myself and people. I had no idea what God was working on behind the scenes!

Last year while performing at the Ventura County Fair, Brad Lawson (pictured) was with his family and had to rest his knee. So he told his wife Shanna and 3 daughters to go ahead while he sat down near the stage where I was performing. As Brad tells it, he was so blown away by my presence, performance and love for people- that he had to come and talk to me afterwards. He didn’t even know if I believed in Jesus, but he knew that he was willing to take a chance and that what I had in me was something he wanted his Two Trees Community Church and children’s ministry to experience.

Brad boldly came up to me after my performance, introduced himself and asked me if I would be willing to come lead their children’s ministry for 1 Sunday morning during their grand opening on Sunday August 19. Of course I agreed because I love children and get invited to be a guest speaker, singer, leader, teacher (etc.) at churches and religious events all the time. So I didn’t see it as a big deal LOL. But I had not been consistently involved in a local church in my area for 6 years at that time.

Two Trees Community Church’s grand opening came, and I had a blast pouring into the elementary students that morning! Brad, his wife Shanna and all the other ministers and leaders adored me and wanted to know how soon I could come back. Brad understood and supported my crazy schedule and career, and wanted to discuss how we could stay in touch.

We met for coffee and I shared my hesitations and previous religious experiences I had walked away from. Brad was very compassionate, and we decided that I would test out being there leading 2x a month. I’m so thankful for my own pastor/mentor/big brother Greg Henry who helped me to walk through this process! It is not easy trusting people after you’ve been through many traumatic experiences!

All this time the children’s ministry continued to grow like crazy, and we have countless testimonies of our kids healing from low self-esteem, anger issues, fear, communication struggles and so much more. We took it one month at a time, and eventually one of the pastors and administrators Nick was sharing with me that Two Trees Community Church has always wanted to me to be their elementary students’ minister and were willing to accommodate my career and schedule and make it worth my while. Inside I started freaking out and all these horrid memories from churches started flooding my mind, and once again I’m grateful for my pastor Greg who helped me to return to my center and find peace again.

Soon afterwards I decided that I wanted to give it a try, and I can say it’s one of the best decisions I made this year!! I get to be my full self and teach the students about the Jesus I know and love so much. No fear, no condemnation, no shame, no guilt- just pure unconditional love, grace, truth, and encouragement. Our students have grown spiritually, mentally, emotionally and relationally. God is not just a big invisible being in the sky, but they know God as their best friend and Someone who is present with them every moment in their hearts and lives. They are learning about mental health awareness, bullying and self-harm prevention, building confidence, how to speak up and work through conflict, the power of supporting each other and more! Our students are learning to sing and speak in Spanish and we even have a dance team now! We also had our first kids conference with over 20 students from the community in attendance. There are no limits to what we can experience and receive together. Even their parents are noticing the positive changes and healing within their kids.

I am so thankful unto Brad for being bold and walking up to me that day at the fair. You and the congregation are helping me to heal from religious abuse and church-hurt and learn how to trust again. Thank you for not being controlling or a dictator and for allowing me (and others) to be our authentic selves. Thank you for trusting my ideas and being someone I can truly talk to and feel safe with. Thank you for being open to different ways of worshiping and expressing love and gratitude for Jesus. Through Extraordinary Kids Church and Two Trees Community, God has given me new memories and wonderful new experiences. We really are a family. Here’s to another year of me living in GRACE, and I can’t wait to see what happens next in this ministry. I’m present, so full of joy, and ready for more adventures with God!